It's Gettin' Old

I am sincerely sorry. We have to do it again. I know it happens too often, for some reason indeterminate reason or reasons. (And possibly because I get bored & am sick and it's easier than writing a new entry—a popular strategy employed by TV writers when the deadline for a new episode is looming, and they really have nothing to say.)

But OK, usually I don't know why these things happen when they do. Are quantum forces at play? Are divine beings (e.g. Elizabeth Elmore) exercising their influence? Am I enjoying another mood swing? Could be. I wish. Probably. This time, though, there is a reason why we must review, reconsider and regurgitate things past—including last night's bloated ration of gin.

Check the calendar lately? Hmmmm??? So, whadja get me? Better not be no malodorous cologne, nor cheap gift basket some asshole gave you at the office Xmass party last Dec.; (w/ rancid chocolate a-spoil, wilted lil' plastic grass n' foil n' whatever;) nor a donation to the Boys Secular Chorale Corral in my name. I better get something good. A $500 gift card to Bob's Adult Spot for Hot Splots n' Gin Shots would be acceptable, but c'mon, really, I deserve something like jewelry, or even a car.

It is our 5th Anniversary, yours & mine. And before you start pretending like you remembered and go frantically running off to buy whatever shit you can afford—as you haven't even been saving for this day—anything that is remotely construable as a gift…Forget it. I knew you'd forget.

May 21, 2004. It was a quiet night, watching Puppet Master 4 or 5 or whatever. The very first entry. The lightning strike that heralded the birth of this blog! Oh the wonder! Oh the grandeur! Etc....

And although it's been 5 years, and prob. deserves something at least as sprawling (or rambling and over-inflated, if you prefer) as past retrospectives... Something that contains mechanisms that are as clever (or silly, if you prefer) as Charlie Sheen tirades or close encounters w/ Moray Eels... Despite all that, I'm gonna keep this short(er).

I think we all wanna go home. I'm tired. You look like you might be too. So trivia. A short list. 1 point per year, except for 1 year, which gets 2 points. (I am incapable of restraint or brevity, as you may know.) These points were chosen by anniversary years, not calendar years, which means 5/04-5/05, 5/05-5/06, 5/06-5/07, 5/07-5/08, (the year that gets 2,) and 5/08-5/09. Here goes:

"Cage Match: Peter Cottontail Vs. Ema Saiko!!!" (7/7/04): Every Spring in Chicago, you'll start finding the decapitated remains of pigeons all over the place. Probably just the work of cats or something, I guess, but it's pretty fucked up when you stumble across one, its blood pooling in vivid red, as you try to steer your fortunately blind dog away from its carcass. Here's hoping my acquaintance back in Pilsen fared better.

"Titus" (9/17/05) & "Titus Strikes back" (9/26/05): My "poem" in "Titus" is not technically a sonnet, as it doesn't utilize the appropriate meter. Titus's effort, however, is in standard sonnet form. Classy bastard.

"Hello, Hilo" (11/3/6): Some species of termite maintain 'gardens' of specific types of fungi. The fungi absorb nourishment from the excrement of the insects. When the termites harvest and consume the fungi, spores pass through the intestines of the insects. They then emerge as part of the termites' feces and begin germination, thus completing the cycle.

"Into the Black" (11/17/7): The Elizabeth Elmore solo LP described in this entry does not exist. I made it up.

"What I Did w/ My Year-Long Vavation" (1/8/8): The double disc version of Playing with Fire, which clocks in at just under 2 hours in length, also includes alternate mixes of "I Believe It," (labeled "Alternate Mix,") "Let Me down Gently," ("Drum Mix,") "Lord Can You Hear Me?” ("Demo Vocal,") "Honey," ("Demo,") and "Suicide ("Alternate Mix"). It also contains live versions of "How Does It Feel?" and "Suicide." All in all, there are 22 tracks, and 9 of these are alternate mixes or live versions of other songs on the album. That's 40.9% of the total number of tracks and 49.6% of the total running time. Enjoy!

"Lovin' the Rubble" (11/20/8): This is the first time I mentioned Sloth in a couple of years. At some point, I fell out of the habit of addressing him in my entries, which pains me a little. He was a good friend who died a couple of years before I started keeping a blog. He was young, and it was unexpected, and we were very close. It fucked me up pretty bad to see him go like that, as he was a very brave person with a very good heart. The Real Deal. So, hey, Sloth... I hope you liked this entry...

Fun, eh. I promise I'll get to Hawaii, NYC, and all the other irons I have in the fire soon here. Maybe by the time we hit 10 years—god help us, if that actually happens—I'll have finished all of it.

Happy Anniversary, baby...