Friday, October 03, 2008

Whoopeee!!! It's the All Star Break!!!


Thank god... the All Star break...



It'll be nice to have a break from all this stressful mid-season play. We may have the best record in the league, but the Cubs have been looking a little crappy. Maybe they could use a break from all the stress. I know I could.



The All Star Game is fun. It has no real repercussions. You can just sit back and enjoy the baseball. Lot's to look forward to here. For one thing, I'm really amped to see Dan Uggla in action. That guy's a really exciting young player. He's got Hall of Fame written all over him!



Yep. Whadda relief. We
better relax... in a couple of days, we'll have to gear up for the race to the post-season. But I think we can do it. I mean, c'mon, look at us. Every sports writer in the country has us pegged for National League champs, despite our recent shakiness.



100 years, baby, this is it. Reverse the Curse. World Champion Chicago Cubs...




Whazzat you say? The Cubs are about to play Game 3 of the NLDS tomorrow? And they lost Games 1 & 2 solidly? At Wrigley? The All Star Game is long over, carrying away so many hopeful possibilities w/ it?



OK, now you're just being asshole. It's not cool to fuck w/ me like that. Except when I consult my calendar, I see that you are right...



What the fuck? Did I sleep all the way through the stretch as well as the first half of the season? No, wait... I seem to've wounded myself. There's this large bloody gash in my head... Hmm... maybe my memory loss is the result of brain trauma. And speaking of injuries that I don't remember receiving, it seems their are some hesitation marks on my wrists. (Pussy... I never could bring myself to do it...) Please tell me it isn't true...



I must be drunk...



OK... I'm not...




It's only the second time we made it to the post-season 2 years in a row... in 100 years...



And now they've blown it?????? On the 100th anniversary. I mean, I know the odds of the Cubs winning the World Series exactly 100 years after their last Championship are ridiculously remote. (Assuming that is that cold, insentient mathematics place the same significance on the number 100 that we do, but I think that's a given, right?)



But to bring us this close, only to yank the rug out from under us again? This is getting just too fucking old. And painful.



So I guess it's time to go
get drunk and hope that the sweet nepenthe of liquor takes me off to a cool, shady place, light years away from Wrigley Field and all the misery it has caused me, not to mention the misery it has caused uncountable others. Maybe all of us can just sleep, sleep peacefully--maybe all the way through the 2009 season, if we're lucky...


And if we're really, really lucky, maybe we can just sleep all the way through every baseball season for the rest our lives... Yeah, if we're really, really, really lucky...


But let's not get carried away...



Yet.