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Hello. I'm Steve Forceman, P.I.
This is not a proper blog entry. This is a public apology.
To those of you who found this blog by googling "braided pubic hair," "dildo force," "George Clooney's ass," and the like, I would like to express my deepest regrets. You account for most of my hits these days, and I suspect you're not finding what you're looking for here.
I am truly, deeply sorry.
('Course now that I've repeated some of the above phrases, I may have increased the likelihood of drawing more of you here. Ah fuck. Like Johnny Thunders said, it doesn't pay to try...)
What's more, I do not mean to suggest that such visitors are not well-rounded human beings. Who knows? Maybe you enjoyed the earnest but murky consideration of the death penalty offered in the recent entry below. (It was also boring. Man, I hate it when I get earnest.)
I have almost finished a "proper" entry. In it, I vow to avoid subjects like gerbling or necrophilia unless I have something constructive to say about them. Mother always said, if you can't say something sexy, don't say anything at all...
Again, please accept my sincerest apologies.
Thank you.
Steve Forceman, P.I.
P.S. If you're Elizabeth Elmore, whatever drew you here, please, drop me a line...
P.P.S. I also resolve to avoid using "google" as a verb. I hate that.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
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4 comments:
I'm with you on this. There are a couple of horny Canadians who found my site after searching for "bang my girlfriend." Hey man, that's my OTHER blog.
Dude, what's the url for yr. other blog???
But seriously... I really do get around 99.999% of my hits from the things I mentioned there. A SUBSTANTIAL chunk of these really are looking for "braided pubic hair." I may be naive, but at first, the number of braided hair fetishists who are out there threw me.
BTW congrats on getting Josh Beckett. He's devastating when he's together. Guess we both benefited from the Marlins' fire sale... Here's hoping JB stays healthy for you...
Yup, the Beckett deal got alot of people excited. Too bad we had to lose Hanley Ramirez in the deal as he could come in handy at shortstop right now. I'm ecstatic that Renteria is gone though.
You picked up Juan Pierre, right? Don't know much about him but I hear he's good. The Sox were interested in him as well I think. The question remains, though: how long until Willis is shopped around? He is crazy good.
Unless I write about the crazy homeless woman in Harvard Square whose hair has turned into one giant disgusting dreadlock, I don't think I'll be attracting any hair fetishists. But don't count me out yet.
Yeah, it seems like Renteria was becoming a liability. You still have Clement, right? I was sorry to see him go, tho he'd been having a really bad time here. His W/L numbers were sucking but his ERA was OK. No run support. Guess the change of scenery helped. He looked like he was smokin' over there.
Willis came through our farm system, looked only OK, & we traded him at AAA level then watched him go on to knock us out of the NLCS in '03. ARRRGH! Another stupid move.
Pierre, I think, was a good move. Another Marlin who stomped us in 03. We needed an authentic leadoff hitter, as we haven't had one in YEARS. He had a bad year last year--for him-- his OBP, stolen bases, etc. were still really good for anyone else...
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